I remember the first time my therapist told me I was a perfectionist. I thought to myself, “There’s no way I could be a perfectionist; I’m not good enough at anything.” Little did I know that was exactly the kind of thinking that makes me the type of perfectionist I am.
Perfectionism seems to be a hot topic in our culture. LinkedIn is full of memes making fun of it and it remains the perfect “What’s your biggest weakness?” answer in job interviews. But so often it’s seen as one of two caricatures. First is the perfect coworker who gets walked all over but gets the hard work done. They never complain, can either take charge or handle the brunt of the work, and will be sure to produce A+ work. On the other hand is the controlling know-it-all who doesn’t work well with others and is always competing to be the best. You can see why I wasn’t quick to jump on board with either camp.
But recently I came across the book, “A Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control,” by Katherine Morgan Schafler, and it completely changed my perspective. Schafler argues that the way to become the best version of yourself is to embrace your perfectionism because it’s a tool, and if used correctly, one that can heal you. This opened up a whole new world to me. Do you mean I don’t have to be a “recovering perfectionist” or someone who “struggles” with perfectionism? What a relief!
I learned that I am not a classic perfectionist. Instead, my type of perfectionism has to do with interpersonal relationships and people-pleasing behavior. This is a far cry from the traditional idea of what makes a perfectionist a perfectionist. Knowing more about how perfectionism works in my life has helped me gain better control of this characteristic. I have found that it can actually be something that gives me power.
I have found that understanding and embracing who I am is the only way to gain confidence. Using the traits I am given can help me grow toward my goals and leads to greater passion in my work, confidence in my choices and less anxiety. I have learned to apply the drive that comes from perfectionism to increase my motivation. Also, understanding my perfectionism has allowed me to avoid belittling myself when I fall short. I work harder to communicate my limitations so I don’t feel like I am letting people down. It’s also important to understand others’ expectations upfront so I don’t fill in unexpected and unnecessary work. My drive to do a quality job still allows my work to speak for itself, but I am much better at knowing when to stop and move on to the next project.
This also helps with bigger-picture applications. Understanding that I am a people-pleaser helped me realize I was in a job I didn’t love but felt like I had to keep because I was worried about what my boss would think of me if I left, or that my goals and aspirations were mine alone to choose. And asking my friends or family for their opinions was unhelpful in identifying what I should be working toward. For the first time in my life, I feel empowered to act in a way that I truly feel is best, instead of worrying about how other people view me.
In the field of public relations, where attention to detail, high standards and adaptability are crucial for success, there are many perfectionists among us. PR professionals often balance the need for flawless execution with the unpredictable nature of managing public perception, media relations and client expectations. Embracing perfectionism as a superpower rather than a flaw allows PR practitioners to harness their strengths — such as being thorough, organized and prepared — while learning to manage potential downsides, like overthinking or difficulty delegating.
By embracing their own perfectionism, PR professionals can channel it to not only produce exceptional work but also maintain healthy relationships and respond flexibly to ever-changing circumstances. This balance can lead to greater creativity, resilience and leadership in the industry. Working in a field dominated and motivated by relationships, it’s imperative to understand more about our relationship with ourselves and with others who have similar traits
Natalie Aldous is a rising senior at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, where she is majoring in Public Relations with a minor in Tourism. Throughout her time at BYU, she has taken on leadership roles, serving as her PRSSA chapter’s Vice President of Professional Development and ICON Coordinator. In 2024, Natalie was honored as a Foster the Future Fellowship recipient and is an active member of the National Millennial Gen-Z Community. Outside of her academic and professional endeavors, Natalie enjoys traveling, reading, and baking. You can connect with her on LinkedIn.